Hey Fam...Sorry Its Been a While...

Hey ya'll, thank you for patiently waiting whilest I have been experiencing technical difficulties...
And now back to the stupidity!

Behind Kevin's Back

I love this one...

Behind Kevin's Back

Mommy walked in, only to find Kevin sticking something in his mouth...
“What do you have there Kevin?” She asked as Kevin quickly put his hands behind his back.
“Nothing.” Kevin said coughing.
“Kevin,” Mommy asked “Do you have some drugs or alcohol behind your back? That is bad. You are big trouble mister!”
As Mommy approached Kevin she noticed a white substance around Kevin’s mouth.
“Kevin, are you drooling?” she said.
Mommy grabbed Kevin by the arm and pulled it out from behind his back.
“Are those spider webs!?!?!?” Mommy yelled.
Kevin coughed and said “Yep.”
For a split second, Mommy wished that she had caught Kevin with drugs.

Coupons

An ode to love, nay an ode to marriage...this is how my wife and I "flirt" all the time...I love you honey.

Coupons

“Honey, I’m going to the store. Do you have any coupons?”
“Nope. But I wish I had a coupon for some onions.”
“Onions!?! Why onions?”
“So I can rub them in your eyes…like this!!!!”
…And then his wife lunged from the couch, freshly chopped onions in her hand, and smeared them all in her husbands’ eyes.
They would play pranks on each other like this all of the time.

Plaque

“Blast it my teeth hurt!” Joe said with pain on his face.
“What’s wrong,” Greg said “Have you brushed your teeth recently?”
“Not in about 6 months.” Joe said as he pulled up his lip to show Greg the yellow glow of nearly 4 inches of plaque build up covering Joe’s teeth.
“Ugh!” Greg said beginning to taste throw up in his mouth.

New Constitution

An older pome, but a dedication to the gun I bought this weekend.

New Constitution

We the people of the free lands,
Beckon to thee on this glorious day,
Striving for freedom, striving for nature,
Denying all liability of any wrong doing on behalf of the sword,
From hence forth doth love to draw,
Come death or torture,
Until the bitter end.
The first Amendment:
Every living creature has a right to bear arms; meaning that they can have bear arms instead of human arms.

Log Cabin

If beavers could talk,
I’d hire them to build my log cabin,
Over hiring 30 lumberjacks.
5 beavers could probably do the work of 30 lumberjacks,
By my calculations.

Autograph

This may be the first public 'viewing' of this bad boy right huRR...I like it.

Autograph

A famous rock star asked me "Where would you like my autograph?"
"Right here on my butt! Your music is crap!" I said, pulling down my pants.
Then he jammed a glossy 8x10 photo, a Sharpie, and 3 backstage passes up my bottom.
I winced as he said "Enjoy."

AutograA